As a nation, so many of us are overly concerned about worrying about what other people think about us! We worry about our appearance, our intelligence and what other people may think of the choices that we make in our own lives.
We worry about upsetting someone, whether people like us or not and what they think about the clothes we wear or the houses that we live in!
Many of us also censor what we say in front of other people as we don’t want to say the wrong thing or be judged negatively. We fear disapproval, rejection or abandonment – we also worry about those that we care about withdrawing their love from us.
People Pleasing
Worrying about what other people think robs you of your self esteem and confidence. It also leads to people pleasing behaviour . A people pleaser tries their hardest to keep everyone around them happy, often at their own expense.
People pleasers turn themselves inside out in order to please other people – often doing things deep down that they don’t want to do. They may end up saying Yes, when they really mean No. They are the sort of people that tell you everything is ok when they are sad or seething on the inside! The people pleasing habit often stems from a deep belief that we need to take care of everyone’s else’s happiness and wellbeing at all costs and a fear of what may happen if we don’t.
However, people pleasing behaviour often results in neglecting your own needs and wants. Ironically, a people pleaser is often overlooked, taken for granted and loses the respect of the very people they are trying so hard to please! This can result in feeling resentful, taken for granted and exhausted.
Listen to Lisa being interviewed about People Pleasing.
Confidence
People pleasing and worrying what people think eats away at our fragile self esteem and confidence.
Top Tips to Stop Worrying what People think of You
- If you worry about what other people think or being judged, remind yourself it is extremely unlikely that people are even thinking about you! This is just your own mind frightening you. Most people are more concerned about what you think about them!
- Learn to approve of yourself rather than seeking approval from others. What is more important? What people think of you or what you think of you?
- People will always think what they want anyway – so does it really matter what they think about you in the big scheme of life? As Wayne Dyer once said ‘ What you think about me is none of my business’
- Take small steps to accommodate yourself each day, rather than always accommodating other people. Learn to tap into your own emotions and please yourself first!
- Get clear on your own priorities in life. What is important to you? How do you wish to spend your life? Take time to invest in your own personal priorities. Prioritise yourself and the world will make you a priority!
Life Coaching with Lisa Phillips
After living in Sydney, Australia for over 20 years, Life Coach and Confidence Coach Lisa Phillips is now based in the Northamptonshire / Leicestershire area. She is the authority on all things confidence related! Lisa is the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ and a popular motivational speaker and wellness speaker. She offers face to face and online / Skype Life Coaching. To find out more, please see www.amazingcoaching.co.uk .
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Lisa’s Life Coaching Testimonials.
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