Many of us have a fear of being judged. We worry about what people think about us and assume others judge us negatively. But how do you really know this? Are you a mind reader? Do you have a crystal ball? The truth is, fearing being judged is just an old learned behaviour that really doesn’t feel good! It is very upstream!
We become what we Hear
In childhood, , our brains and body are like a sponge and literally ‘ soak up’ what we hear from other people. Therefore, if you heard comments from other people such as ‘ she looks down at me‘ or ‘ he doesn’t like me’ , you begin to assume that other people are not friendly. This starts the belief that you are being judged negatively by others. In addition, if you felt that your parents or guardians didn’t like what they saw in you, you make the assumption that everyone won’t like what they see if you!
Case Study – Fear of being Judged.
Michelle was a client of mine who felt that her Mum always looked at her through eyes of disdain and disappointment. As a child, this led her to believe that everyone looked at her through eyes of disdain and disappointment. Therefore, she always assumed that people were judging her in a negative way. This led her to a lifelong fear of being judged.
What Evidence do you have?
The next time you fear being judged, ask yourself What real evidence do you have that someone is judging you? The chances are that it is just an old learned behaviour and you are running on old programming. You are simply assuming that people ( and the world) are not friendly.
What if you could start to change this old negative belief with ‘ People view me in a positive light’? How nice would it feel if you could begin to assume that People like what they see in you and choose to spend time with you?
Life is a Mirror
In my Life Coaching practice, I do a simple meditation of thousands of people in a field looking at you. These people are looking at you through eyes of love and explaining to you how much they adore you. This little meditation is so powerful as you begin to change your belief that people judge you – into people see you in a positive way. It is lovely to feel the love of 1000 people flowing towards you!
Listen to Podcast Interview with Lisa Phillips on People Pleasing.
Award Winning Life Coach Northamptonshire.
Currently the Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching expert on The Love Destination TV Lisa Phillips has over 22 years experience as an award winning Life Coach. Previously based in Sydney, Australia, Lisa is now based in Northamptonshire.
Lisa works with individual’s and organisations and she is also the author of The Confidence Coach book. To find out what Lisa’s clients say about her, please see her Life Coaching testimonials.
Please also contact Lisa for a no obligation chat about how she can assist you.
