Shame is a toxic emotion.  It is like a dark cloud which follows you around, often accompanied by a feeling of being worthless and powerless.  Shame shouts that you have no value, and that other people are somewhat better than you.

When dealing with shame,  we turn against ourselves with self loathing, criticising ourselves for doing something wrong.  We label ourselves as being inadequate.

We can carry feelings of shame about anything,  including how we look, relationships, what we have done / not done, our failures or successes,  unrequited love, being abused or bullied.

Our internal critical eye

When dealing with shame, our internal critical eye evaluates the self  self harshly, viewing the self as embarrassing and disappointing.  It is a negative self evaluation of self.   This shame becomes part of you, damaging your self-image and becoming part of your internal self-talk.

Healing Shame through Inner Child Coaching

Over my 23 years as a leading life coach,  I have found that Inner Child Coaching is extremely effective in dealing with shame.    Through this gentle yet healing methodology,  shaming experiences that a client may have carried though to adulthood, can be identified and healed.

Healing shame with the  inner child involves learning to connect and re-educate your inner child.  Once complete, you can learn to be more  nurturing toward yourself and more realistic about what is and isn’t your responsibility. This allows your childhood wounds to be fully processed  and healed.

4 Tips for Dealing with Toxic Shame

  • Validate your own feelings.   Accept how you feel and acknowledge your pain and shameful feelings as being real.  Do not try to rationalise the hurt.
  • Speak to yourself like you would a small child.  Have real compassion with yourself.
  • Try my ‘ Being Seen’ meditation
  • Recognise when shame full feelings rise to the surface.   Don’t avoid them, soothe and encourage your inner child.

Lisa Phillips,  Author, Life Coach and Confidence expert

With over 23 years international experience,  Lisa Phillips is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book and a multi award winning Life and Confidence expert.   To book Lisa to speak at your event, or to discuss Coaching services,  please use this contact form.